


What the rich miss out on

by MiloKitty



Series: One-shot collection [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clueless Tony Stark, M/M, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-22 20:44:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3742966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiloKitty/pseuds/MiloKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark had it all when he was growing up, Maids, Private Butler and a driver. The lowest amount of Money he has seen is a $50 bill, though he has heard that lower amounts exist, he just doesn't know what they would be.  </p><p>Then he grew up, these turned into robots and billions, Sadly though he has no idea what Steve means when he saids that he wants Tony to Vacuum, Tony can't create one of those, there theoretical. Or what Bucky means By a dollar or a nickel.</p><p>An AU where Tony was a sheltered rich kid who has never even heard of a nickel or a vacuum outside of science, so when the team or his many lovers ask him to help around the home he becomes lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I keep seeing Tony Stark asking what the hell a vacuum is and why it's Important.

Tony knew that in some ways he was lucky, luckier than lucky. He had billions, flew a Metal suit, owned a Fortune-500 company and didn't have to run it. He had 6 amazing lovers and teammates as well as Pepper, Rhodey and Happy.

He had always lived in large houses or Towers. On top of all that he had an amazing A.I by the name of Jarvis. 

He was happy with his existence until Steve shattered it.

Tony blames Steve because it was his idea to put up the chore chart, the only time Tony had even seen a chore chart was in bad movies that reminded him of his childhood if you lost the love and problem solved endings.

This Chart was just plain weird, It wanted people to vacuum, which Tony just didn't understand, how was one meant to Create a vacuum inside the tower and why did Steve want a new one made every week by different people, It was just confusing. 

There was also fill the washing machine or stack the dish washer, Tony had no idea what ether of things was, though he assumed that the dish washer, some how washed dishes, why only dishes though? Tony was just plain confused.

So while Tony was trying to figure out what Steve wanted done he was oblivious to the gathering behind him. The Team had been alerted by Jarvis when Tony asked why Steve wanted something like a vacuum which could kill them in the house.

The Team at first thought that Tony was just Sleep deprived, until they heard his other questions. Bucky made a bet with Clint "$20 says he has no idea what a nickel is" he whispered, so as not to alert Tony to their presence. Clint raised an eyebrow " Of course he knows what a nickel is Buckaroo, your on" Clint smirked just to annoy Bucky more

He knew Bucky hated it when Clint used Tony's nicknames.

Bucky silently moved behind Tony, gently wrapping his arms around his waist, enjoying Tony jumping in shock as the sudden company.

"Got a Nickel I can borrow котенок" Bucky enjoyed the shiver that ran up Tony's back when the air brushed past his ear.

Tony turned around and tilted his head in a manner that explained Bucky's pet name. "What's a Nickel?" 

The rest of the Avengers looked like they couldn't believe what Tony had just said.

"Also while where on the topic of weird things I don't know" Tony continued oblivious to the reaction" Whats a washing machine, dish washer and why do we want a vacuum that could suck out all the air and kill us in the tower?"

Tony look at Bucky with such an earnest expression that he knew that Tony wasn't jesting.

"How do you not know what they are Tones, everybody uses them everyday, they're in every house"

Tony Just looked confused causing Bucky to keep him pinned to him forever.

"кролик, a vacuum isn't what you're thinking" Natasha smoothly cut in " You use it to suck the dirt and other things out of carpets and off floors"

Tony just tilted his head further

Steve while this was happening, went and collect the vacuum returning just as Natasha finished speaking. "This mo mac tíre, is a vacuum.

Tony looked plain lost.

"Why would you use something like that, it looks incredibly heavy and large for something made to suck dirt" pointed out Tony

Bruce started laughing at this "What he is right, For it's purpose it is quite large, nice work Gauraiyā"

Tony sighed " okay whatever then, what's a nickel"

Thor answered this "It is a form of mid-guarden currency only found on the land of the Captain ekorn"

"what's it worth?" Tony had never heard of a nickel Before

Clint jumped in "Its worth 5 cents Meu amante descuidado"  

Tony sighed and lent back into Bucky's chest "I give up, also whats with all the different pet names in languages I don't speak"

"That's so you don't get offended by what we say, your pride is often in the way котенок of us calling you these names in english"


	2. Tony meets the vacuum alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets left alone in the Tower, and meets the vacuum. Things get a little hairy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People asked and i Delivered

The Chore Chart was still in use, much to Tony's misery. Since discovering things like Nickels and Dimes, Tony had become invested in discovering things that as his favourite bird would say, only multi-billionaires wouldn't know about.

Tony found this to be a little unfair, he could't be the only person who had no idea what a vacuums purpose was or why the washing machine had a certain hatred for him. Steve and Bucky had been assisting him in learning this house-hold skills as they called them.

Though Today all his teammates but Tony himself, had been taken to Shield, for a de-briefing about something or other. So Tony was alone... and bored...and staring at the dreaded vacuum cleaner that jack frost had left in the lounge room. 

Steve had banned Tony from touching the vacuum after it was made clear that it would most likely be turned into a weapon of mass destruction, because that was one of the uses of a normal vacuum. Sadly though, this was a valid point that only Brucie-bear seemed to understand.

So as Mr. Stars and Bars had said "Tony meet vacuum, vacuum meet Tony, Tony do not touch vacuum, ever, no matter what, do not touch" he had failed to comprehend the mass amount of control Tony needed to follow this order. He just wanted to see if it worked, if there were any improvements that were needed. 

So yes Tony was alone with a normal vacuum cleaner, he was bored and Steve had said not to touch. It wasn't really his fault now was it.

* * *

 

Steve had been stuck with the rest of his team minus his wolf, at shield for the last few hours. Fury had been ~~droning annoyingly~~ discussing the last mission errors with Steve and Natasha, seemingly oblivious to the sexual game the teams two sharpshooters were playing under the table.

Steve felt a little bit bad for leaving Tony on his own, but really it was for the best. Tony just encouraged bad behaviour or played on his phone the entire time, it saved Fury some time glaring with him not being here.

Besides it meant that Steve could let his thoughts wander down any path, without Tony catching his eye and causing him to blush. So Steve's thoughts weren't the innocent thoughts of a blushing virgin from the 40's. He never claimed to be that, people just assumed.

**Beeeeeeeeeeeep, beeeeeeeeeeeep**

Shield's Tony alarm, (yes shield had a Tony alarm and yes it was used often,) woke Steve from his daydreaming. Tony had probably made another evil A.I like Darth Vader the fridge/freezer again or something.

"Umm Steve" Bucky whispered softly trying not to attract the others attention "I don't know if this had anything to do with the alarm but..."

Steve watched Bucky try to find his words, a sinking feeling slowly growing in his gut

"But.. I might have left the vacuum in the lounge room, you know where we left Tony" Bucky looked down in guilt.

Steve sighed, this would not be a fun activity.

* * *

 

So Tony had given the vacuum a few upgrades, nothing to dramatic. He had made it lighter, faster and stronger. Sadly though then he made a tiny, insignificant mistake, Tony turned the vacuum into an A.I

So now as the vacuum attempted to eat everything and anything, Tony sat on the kitchen counter and debated how mad Steve would be. The best outcome would be that Steve rescued Tony from the evil machine and carried him to their bed. Tony though was a realistic person (He was, just don't ask Pepper... or anyone else for that matter) so he knew it would more likely become Steve killing Malificent the vacuum (Tony made it so he can call it whatever he pleases) then giving Tony the 'I'm disappointed in you, you disobeyed a direct order' look and making Tony sleep. The boring kinda sleep, where you have to go lay down and you know... sleep.

Sleep was for the weak and Tony was anything but weak, unless you know he was in trouble with the team, then he was pitiful and needed cuddles. 

So yes, as Tony waited for his saviours to save him, he sat on the countertop and followed very naughty daydreams to very naughty places as Malificent scrambled around and ate pillows.

* * *

 

The Avengers plus Two of Shield Lackey's entered the elevator of the Stark tower, taking the few seconds before they reached the common floor of the Avenger's quarters to mentally prepare themselves for whatever Tony-themed mayhem a waited.

What they didn't expect was to find Tony sitting on the kitchen counter while watching an out of control vacuum cleaner eat furniture. At their entrance Tony turned his head and smiled his 'I know i'm a little shit but you love me right?' smile before opening his mouth

"Her names Malificent, by the way. Just so you can you know put a name to the thing your about to kill" Tony managed to look sad but accepting of this fact, sadly though only the Shield agents were fooled into feeling sympathetic towards Tony. The Avengers looked exasperated but fond.

Bucky made his way over to Tony the only way an assassin can before joining him on the bench

"You can't keep her,котенок" Bucky said softly as he pulled Tony into his side.

Tony looked down (trying to gain sympathy) before answering still avoiding meeting Bucky's eyes "But, she hasn't hurt anyone, plus Malificent is just ... lonely,Il mio cacciatore" Tony answered, clearly hoping the pet name would bring Bucky over to his side.

Bucky on the other hand just sighed before gently tipping Tony's head towards him and softly kissing him.

The two shield agents had a video of the entire exchange up on youtube in under 5minutes.

Fury was the first person to watch it. He Shipped the Avengers amazingly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony's fav bird - Hawk-eye or Clint  
> Jack frost- James "Bucky" Barnes  
> Bruice-Bear- Take a guess  
> Mr. Stars and Bars- Steve Rogers  
> Il mio cacciatore is italiana for my hunter  
> Steve's wolf reference to 1st chapter- Tony  
> Bucky calles Tony kitten

**Author's Note:**

> Pet names  
> Bucky and Natasha: Russian: Kitten and bunny  
> Steve: Irish: My wolf  
> Bruce: Hindi: Sparrow  
> Clint: Portuguese: My careless lover  
> Thor: Norwegian: Squirrel


End file.
